


The One That Starts With A 'C'

by Softasamarshmallow



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe-Neighbours, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Neighbour Harry, Not Canon Compliant, Not Really Crack, Romance, Scared Louis, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, harry saves the day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:05:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9222257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softasamarshmallow/pseuds/Softasamarshmallow
Summary: "“Zayn, Zayn, please come home, I need you to come home.”“Why, what’s up, Lou?”“The- OH MY GOD! It’s coming for me- Nononono go away you spawn of the devil! No- HELP!”“Lou?? LOU, what’s happening?! Babes, answer me!” Zayn rushed out, clutching his phone tightly as he hears little panicked whines and screams from the other side.“Z, Z, please, please just come home, it’s just watching me with its beady little eyes, help!”“What’s wrong?” He sighed, taking a deep breath and pressing a hand to his chest to calm his heart. He should have known better by now, he mused, that Louis screaming bloody murder did not equate to Louis getting murdered."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tronnor_stylinson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tronnor_stylinson/gifts).



> For Tronnor_Stylinson, because I told you I was writing a funny one and I didn't for ages ;D

“ _Zayn, Zayn, please come home, I need you to come home.”_

“Why, what’s up, Lou?”

“ _The- OH MY GOD! It’s coming for me- Nononono go away you spawn of the devil! No- HELP!”_

“Lou?? LOU, what’s happening?! Babes, answer me!” Zayn rushed out, clutching his phone tightly as he hears little panicked whines and screams from the other side.

“ _Z, Z, please, please just come home, it’s just watching me with its beady little eyes, help!”_

“What’s wrong?” He sighed, taking a deep breath and pressing a hand to his chest to calm his heart. He should have known better by now, he mused, that Louis screaming bloody murder did not equate to Louis getting murdered.

“ _I was in the shower and there it was suddenly in with me, the perverted little shit, and I need you to come and get rid of it!”_

“… Lou, what exactly is ‘it’?”

_“THE SPIDER, Zayn, keep up!”_

“… Look, Lou, I feel sorry for you, babe, I really do, but I’m out on a _date_ at the moment. I’m not running back to help you kill a little spider.” Zayn drawled, smiling apologetically across the table where his partner was flashing him curious but worried puppy eyes.

“ _IT’S NOT LITTLE-”_

“Yes, yes, it’s huge and terrifying, I got it- I’m still not coming home.” He interrupted abruptly, rolling his eyes at his drama queen of a best mate.

“ _I can’t believe this- Your best friend rights are invoked! I’m never talking to you again!”_

“Look, just go over and ask Harry to get it for you; it’s the perfect opportunity for you to talk to him. I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to play your knight in shining armour and rescue you, damsel in distress.” Zayn sighed heavily, running a weary hand through his hair lightly, a smirk breaking across his lips at the flustered spluttering he could hear from the other male.

“ _Shut up, I hate you. I’m going to change the locks so you can’t get in.”_

 “Love you too, idiot. I’m hanging up now; I’ll see you later.”

~

Louis stared at his phone in disbelief. Zayn did _not_ just hang up on him.

He raised the phone to his ear again, growling furiously at that obnoxious beeping that greeted him- he _DID,_ that lil-

The caramel haired male froze at the slight movement he spotted at the corner of his eye, wide frightened orbs darting to the door to see the black hairy creature skittering towards him.

Louis did the only logical thing he could think of in the moment- He screamed at ran for the main door, flying across and thumping desperately at the door beside his.

“Curly, _Haz_ , I need your help!” The door flew open to reveal Harry, topless and clad in (frankly very scandalous, in Louis’ opinion (and also very drool worthy)) yoga pants, curly hair pulled in a bun- Louis almost choked on his tongue, mind going blissfully blank as his eyes followed a few stray droplets of sweat lolling leisurely down the taller male’s abs.

Louis sighed internally, wishing he could be that drop of sweat.

“Louis? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He was snapped out of his thoughts by Harry’s deep voice, humming distractedly as his eyes flicked back up to meet worry darkened forest green ones.

“Hmm?”

“Are you alright, Lou?”

Oh right. He was here for a reason, wasn’t he, for the spider- _THE SPIDER._  

“No, no, look, I know we’ve only just met a couple of times, and even though I like to think of us as friends, but this must be so weird for you, and I assure you that I’m not one in the habit of showing up at stranger’s houses practically naked- even though I _do_ fancy the pants off you, and while we are on the topic of pants, can I just tell you how sinful you’re looking right now in those- anyway, I feel like you might like me too, but that’s not the point! Thing is, I was in the shower and there was this _thing_ and I rang Zayn, but that dick wouldn’t come home, and then it came for me, and I swear to God it’s trying to eat my head, and now I can’t go back in, and I just _need_  you to get rid of it. _Please.”_ Louis gulped, words spewing uncontrollably with the emotional stress of having to face that spider and now having to face his very hot and also wonderfully perfect neighbor, big blue eyes staring at Harry pleadingly as the other male stood shocked in his doorway.

“Uh- I- I’m not even sure what to say, but yeah, okay.”

“Okay?” Louis blinked up at Harry, lungs stuttering with relief. Harry shrugged nonchalantly, flashing a deep dimpled grin as he reached behind him to shut his door.

“Yeah, even though I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to do, but I’ll help you, Lou.”

“Oh, you’re a lifesaver, Harry Styles!”

~

“Thanks for that, Haz. Seriously, you don’t know how grateful I am.” Louis breathed out happily, flopping over on the couch and smiling up at Harry, drained from screaming the locations of the spider at the latter as he scurried around to catch it.

They finally did after what felt like an eternity but was probably really only ten minutes, Harry running downstairs to release the little critter back into the wild.                                                                                

“It’s not a problem at all, Lou. ‘M happy to help.”

“Yeah, well, would you… Would you like to go out to dinner with me sometime? My treat, of course, as thanks for today?” Louis offered tentatively, smiling bashfully at the delighted smile blooming across Harry’s lips.

“Oh- I- yeah, of course, I’d love that.”

“Say… tomorrow night at 7?”

“It’s a date, Lou.”

“It’s a date.”

~

“ _Haz_! _Haz_ , _thank God.”_

“Lou? Wha- Why are you whispering?” Harry paused, eyebrows furrowing with worry at the genuine fear he could hear in his boyfriend’s voice.

 _“Never mind that, it’s not important. Listen, you need to get home right now.”_ Louis hissed down the line, words fumbling together hastily as he peeked out into the hallway of their home.

“What? What happened, Lou? Are you alright?” The curly haired male questioned, mind racing with thoughts of what could have possibly gone wrong in the hour he’d left Louis to his own devices. He’d fed him before he left too, so it wasn’t likely that Louis’d burnt the place down trying to cook, and last he’d seen his boy, he’d been giggling at something on TV.

“ _No, I’m not alright, Harold! It’s an emergency- They’re here!”_ The smaller male spat out, heart pounding frantically as he darted nimbly across said hallway, movements swift and silent to prevent _them_ from finding him.

“They’re-? What are you talking about, babe? Who’s there?”

_“You know what I’m talking about!! The one that starts with ‘C’!”_

“The one that starts with ‘C’? Lou, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Harry pressed in exasperated confusion, rolling his eyes at Louis’ rather dramatic reply.                                                                                    

“ _The one we do not speak of!”_

“Oh. _Oh._ Lou, I need you to pack our bags, we’ll be staying in a hotel until the exterminator gives us the all clear.” Harry gasped with realization, lips pinched tight as he quickened his pace to the car.

“ _One step ahead of you there, Haz. All bags packed- yours too- and hotel booked.”_

 _“_ You are a god send, Louis Tomlinson. I’ll meet you out front in 15.”

“ _I’m already here waiting, H.”_

**Author's Note:**

> C is for cockroaches, cause I've been ambushed by them twice in the bathroom recently and it's not funny. I have no idea where they are coming from too, since we've shut the windows and all that but. Sigh. Please don't eat me.
> 
> Weirdly enough, I've been writing a fic only to then read another by another author that is quite similar plot wise! It's all rather strange, 'cause I'd hadn't read theirs before today and they posted before I did... Hmm. Well.
> 
> I don't even know what I'm writing anymore, but this hit me, and I wanted something fun to write. Therefore this was born!
> 
> Happy New Year to you all, and may 2017 be wonderful for all you amazing people! May your dreams come true! 
> 
> As usual, kudos, comments, suggestions, the lot will be much appreciated xxx


End file.
